I'm having a hard time. I've just done my 9th round of chemo, broke out in hives for the first time, have intense muscle pain in my neck and shoulders, have extremely cold feet (in more ways that one) and I just don't want to do my next 3 rounds. I also am doing neupogen so it's chemo one week, plus sick in bed for about 4-5 days feel like crap today and now I have to start injecting neupogen in afew days and will have bone pain from that. I'm having more bad days than good now and I'm fighting this in my head that I don't want to do this anymore!!! I've been crying most of the day contemplating on calling my onc. and calling it quits. I ponder the thought of continueing to a point where they're going to say STOP anyhow cause it's causing more bad than good.....but what if I need those last few cycles......???? I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!!! I've never had anxiety about going for chemo before, but when I broke out in hives and the way the benadryl knocked me out....hey....I didn't like it one bit and now Ive got so much anxiety over this, I don't know what to do. Has anyone decided to stop their own treatment>? Has anyone experienced the aching muscles in neck and shoulders and back??? Where is this coming from??? Anna