Annie,
Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your husband. I'm 11 days post-op from a radical nephrectomy. My procedure started out as a lap procedure, but they ended up having to make a larger (more traditional) incision- although I don't think it's as aggressive had they not actually finished most of the work through the 3 small lap incisions.
I was out of the hospital in 3 days- so I think my situation may have been a little different. But- as in all surgery it's best to make yourself get upright and out of bed and walk around. I also took myself off the self administered pain killers- as they inhibited my ability to get up, stay aware and wake my body up.
I'm a little tender (almost two weeks out) but it isn't really painful. It feels more like pulled muscles than anything else. My wound is healing up okay- but I have a pretty gnarly looking scar on my side. It's about 6 in. under my armpit, just around to my slight back side and down around the front- kind of a "dog leg" right....
Walking is key- I started out first day home from the hospital walking down the street and back, progressing around the block and stuff. Sometimes a little lightheaded afterwards- but not too bad.
I hope some of this helps- as I said I may have had a different situation here- but the overall should be fairly similar....
Dennis