Ceclia,
This note if for you, from another wife you letter as so many isues but I will talk to only one.
. My husband had stage 4 rectal cancer 8 years ago. When spots appeard on his lung doctors said "rectal cancer does not spread to the lung" because of this they said it could be an infection. After 6 months I pushed and insisted to get a lung specialist involved. Surprise -it was a secondary cancer. They removed 1/3 of his lung . He recovered physically but not mentally.
My experience has been as a care giver -so I cannot comment on what it must be like for the patient. Strong is just one word for what you must be during this time- relentless, patient,hopeful. We all wish our husband's could be like the guys in the movies and except this fate, fight and recover and be stronger for the experience. That is not always the case. My husband did not attend any support groups . Not only has the family suffered through his illness we continue to suffer because now he is a changed man -selfish and sad . I tell you this so you husband might see the responsibility he has to seek a support group. You and your family need him and there is a limit to what you can do. I pray that you have the strength to see him though this difficult time and he has the strength to remember you and his children need him more now then ever.
Love
Joyce