Hi Marilyn,
I hope I can help. I was diagnosed w/squamous cell carcinoma Stage4tonsil on 10-11-07,while still breastfeedling my 11 month old son. Of course I had to stop breastfeeding,which was traumatic on top of everything else. I was advised to have all my teeth pulled, which I did, insert a peg tube, which I did.. I then started chemo and radiation therapy.Three doses of hihgpowered chemo and about 36 treatments of radiation everyday. I fininshed radiation on 1-14-08. I now weigh 111 lbs, where my normal weight is about 130-140,and have been eating nothing but liquid nutrution. For the last two months, I have begun trying to swallow again, which is kind of different. I'm doing okay,but they are going to schedule me for a swallowing test and probably speech therapy just to get me swallowing better. There is so much more I want to say to you, but I will leave you with this: This was a very hard road, and it is still continuing, but my faith in God, my conversations with Jesus, and him carrying me is what got me through...with the exceptional help of my kids and amazing friends....but there will be times when you won't want to talk to anyone or see anyone,so rely on your faith....You will be good....Of course you are going to freak out..initially, but it will all come out ok..
Just know that there are other people out here who have gone through similar experiences...and knowing that and reading these blogs helped me tremendously not to overreact...and to know someone knew how I was feeling...
Good Luck...Hope to hear from you soon and I will pray for you
Cheryll