On 4/24/2008
Jilby wrote:
You know, after I just re-read my post...I realized he has SO MUCH to be happy for. He is walking, eating and using the bathroom on his own. Some people aren't that fortunate...to go thru TWO major brain surgeries and beable to function the way he is frankly amazes me. Of course, I am NOT the one going through all of this either. I just want him to appreciate what he still has...because I know this disease will take over. And he really has gotten a lot of quality time. How do I try to make him understand that???
The biggest deficit for him is his speech...and that is killing him. My dad was a lead singer for a band most of his life. 50's and 60's...he was singing up until the day this all started. HE LOVES HIS BAND.
What can I do to get him to realize he still has time to look forward too?
I guess I am just frustrated with him. I want him to be happy....and I want to help him. I'm just running out of energy!!!!
Jill
You do have a lot to be thankful for, you also have a lot to be frustrated about. I know you just want your dad back as he was before all of this happened, as any of us would. All I can say is be grateful for the good days, unfortunately when this terrible disease is present in our lives, all we have is uncertainty. It is imperative that he is as optimistic as possible, and I know that is difficult with his speech effected. I had esophaegeal cancer four years ago and was given a very small chance of survival, (20%) and I am convinced that my thinking always about what I was going to do next year, and my daughter getting married in the fall, and I wanted to vacation in a certain spot helped me think beyond the cancer, chemo and rad. and helped me survive. Cancer at its worst does not always mean that you will die. People beat the odds everyday. Although, I admit that I dread the CT scans and always pray that they will be clear. But that is something I will always do. Test the waters with your dad talking about the band and when he gets well enough to sing with them again, if it upsets him, don't mention it again, but it might get him thinking about tomorrow, not how sick he is today.
Other than those thoughts, all I can do is pray for you and your dad. Also, I admire you for the wonderful job you are doing taking care of him. Remember to take care of yourself also. Stay strong!!
Gerri