Gerri—Thank you for the reply. I’m glad you have been so very successful so far in your cancer journey. I know one can never rely on the doctors prognosis. I do have to say though that so far they have been pretty right on as far as how this thing would progress. I think we were more upbeat and positive after the 1st surgery, hoping and praying we’d be the miracle and that this tumor would not resurface. Now that’s it’s back and we are seeing more deficit, it is hard to maintain that positive attitude. I think I’m just really scared on how this is going to take place and how were going to manage all of it…deep down I know that it will work itself out and we’ll cope just like we have been.
Frances—Thank you for the nice message. I take all of your advice quite wisely being that you are the patient. I know inside my dad is hurting so badly and this disease has taken so much of his life away from him. Anytime I get frustrated, I try and remember that. I’m happy to hear that you are a fighter and I hope things are going well for you. My dad’s journey started in June 2007 also….but we didn’t find out for sure what we were dealing with until July when they took it out. I do have to compare my dad though to sick vs healthy, because I know he wouldn’t be acting this way if it wasn’t for that tumor. He is a very positive, upbeat and happy person. Go with the flow type and this 2nd surgery has changed that. We were VERY positive and we were living each day like the next would be even better. Having this tumor resurface has really changed the mood. (with everyone). My dad seems so much more paranoid with everyone around him, including me and he is more easily frustrated with his speech and surroundings. He has told us MANY times that he does not want to live his life taking a gazillion pills and walking around like a zombie…those are his wishes and we know that. However, this disease requires a lot of meds to keep things good and it is hard for us to keep it all under control. Sometimes I just want to let nature takes it’s course….and put it into God’s hands. Ultimately it is and we can’t change that. However, we still need to take care of him and his home and everything else that is going on. Thanks for the response, it certainly helps to come out here and “talk” to people who “know” what is going on.
Amy—Wow, your poor sister has been thru a lot too! Just when I think I have it tough, I hear a story like yours. That must be so hard for her to of lost her husband during this journey of her own. I certainly can’t blame them for not wanting to live with anyone, but it makes it very hard on the family who is trying to be the caregivers. I also live 45 mins from my Dad. I feel better knowing that there are others who have this disease that insist on being on their own. I wish I could just be there 24/7 to take care of him. But I have a family, a home a job that I need and it’s not that easy. My kids are elementary age which is a key time in their life, I am trying to keep all of this balanced and not disrupt their lives too much, they need their Mom. And I need them, I had them for a reason. I think I am just finally figuring out that I can’t do everything and that I do need to reach out for help w/my dad. We are getting help now from my dad’s brother and sister and we’ll just take it each day, hour by hour to get through it. Thanks for saying sometimes you need a break from it all…I feel guilty doing that, but I believe now it’s the best medicine for a caregiver. Good luck to your family with your sister, she seems like she has a great support system from all of you!