John,
Thank you for your reply to my post. I am just getting home from the Medical Center. Her dr confirmed what we suspected - mats RCC. She'll start on Sutent by the end of next week, hopefully. She's to start with 37.5 mg/ day for 4 weeks, then 2 weeks off (is this what y'all call a round?), then repeat, with a CT in 3 months to see how her lung spots are responding (the largest is 1 cm, at this point) It's been 2 years since she went to the ER at St Luke's with really odd neurological symptoms that led to the discovery of the tumor on her kidney (it was bigger than the kindey!); the tumor ruptured just prior to surgery. I think we've been lucky it hasn't matastized before now. Up to this point we really haven't talked with others going through this; I think we thought she had dodged a bullet, since the surgery went well and follow up CTs didn't show anything. Now something I read this morning on another post is going to become my mantra; I'll repeat it as often as necessary to her and my husband and my kids - she's going to live with cancer, not die from cancer.
So now, I've got a few days to play catch up, find out all I can about how I can help her, tricks and hints from people who have been through this on how to cope with side effects, and how to keep her spirits up through the bad times, and Lord only knows what else. I think, maybe, either it hasn't all sunk in yet or, just knowing there's support available from people like you and the others on this board is giving me the strength I need to feel I can do this with her and for her.