I feel terribly sorry for your Dad. I was 58 when I went through my chemo, radiation and surgery, but I had the regular surgery with 3 big openings in my body.
The feeding tube. I was given a feeding tube in the jejenum. The duodenum, jejunum and ileum make up the small intestine. The tumor I had was in the esophagus and top of the stomach, so they could not put a feeding tube in the stomach, which as I understand, is much easier.
I was given special nutrition for 8 months. It started 3 weeks before my chemo/radiation and continued for 7 months after my surgery. That was when I really began to eat very well and had gained my weight back. When they put in the J-tube, I had what was called an illius. My intestines shut down. My intestines "shut down" again after my surgery. I was given Reglan (metoclopramide) to get my intestines working again both times. I only spent 2 weeks in the hospital, but my husband was a 24 hour a day/night nurse to me. It took from end of May until September 1 until I began to be able to eat without gagging and vomiting. I do have 1/3 of my esophagus left.. I was told that some people have so much of the esophagus removed that they must stay on a stomach feeding tube for life, but I don't know of anyone who remained on TPN for life. The J-tube is very manageable, but does need to be replaced occasionally.
The radiation treatments eroded my first tube and it stopped working, so the doctor pulled it out and inserted another one right in the hospital without a problem. I was fully awake and it was just a pull one out and stick another through the opening.
See if you can find the surgeon who will discuss, in detail, what options your Dad has. I agree with you that he has many, many good years left. I am 4 years out from my surgery and am doing wonderfully. No cancer yet. I was Stage 2B and had lots of difficulty the first year, but once I got through that....everything is very good. I still have difficulty swallowing, but I have a decent quality of life. Your Dad will too. And, if he can get a J-tube...living with that is not bad either. God bless you. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance.