my husband died on march 15 of pancrease cancer. I am trying to put my life back together but i miss him so much, ronnie was my best friend and i cant stop thinking about all i could have done, or all i didn;t do. i cry so much me and ronnie were friends for thrity five years, then nine years ago we married and it was the best marriage anyone could have asked for. we were really soul mates. i am writing this becasue i do all kinds of things to get pass my sadness. everyday i have to fake it and no one really knows the pain i am in, i think i am so alone. my husband was gay and so no one takes his death seriously i guess believing we were not really in love , but we had the perfect marriage. I love him so much.