First of all....(((HUGS)))! I know when I lost my grandpa 20yrs ago this past 4/16 to cancer, my heart still aches. With time one does gain more peace but you still want that person with you more than ever. There is a grieving process - allow yourself to do that! Some days/months/years will be better than others. Everyone has a process to go through when loosing someone they love. Shed your tears! Write down your feelings, talk it out with family/friends - it does help. You'll always have wonderful ears on this discussion board too! Treasure the good times you had with him & keep it close to your heart. ((HUGS)) again and prayers of comfort to you. Nikki