I am so sorry for your loss. When you lose your Dad, it is like a big hole in your life that is impossible to fill.
I lost my father to cancer in 1991. It took awhile to adjust to the reality that my Dad was not here anymore. But, after awhile, instead of crying every time something reminded me of him, nowadays I sometimes smile, when I think - I wonder what Dad would have thought of that. The memory and horror of the pain of cancer gradualy gave way to the happier memories of him, and that is what I think he wanted.
I hope you that God's earthly angels give you the love, comfort and support during the difficult times. And remember - your father lives on in you - you are his living memorial and legacy. From your post I can tell that he was loved.
Hugs,
Gayle C, wife of John C, age 53, GBM warrior since Sept 06