On 4/29/2008
wrachelle wrote:
My friends are really allI got right now. My family wants nothing to do with it, basically disowned me when they found out. Said I was joking about it.
So the way I see it I have my friends. It's just they treat me like im going to die like today. Like i cant do anything, when a lot of the time i feel ok enough to go out and do stuff.
So when i fight with my friends, i have no one. this board is offering me like a sense of escape ya know? lol to talk to people who deal with this too.
Thanks for your respone =]
I'm not sure where to start...... Didn't your parents go to any doctor's visits with you? Didn't they see scan/test results? What do they propose you do? What does your doctor propose as the course of action at this time? Are you looking at surgery or chemo or radiation as an option?
As a parent, I am outraged that a parent would treat a child like this. I know, there are plenty of folks who cannot wait until the kid turns 18 so they don't have to support them any more. I'm fortunate to come from a family that doesn't have that kind of mentality. We have always been there for each other and always will be. I may not like my sisters or brother all the time, but when the chips are down, I'll be there and they know it. My family is the strongest emotional support in my life even when it involves my husband's family. My mother treats my mother-in-law like family. So this where I come from, my way of thinking. So if I get on my soapbox, you'll understand why....
With that said, if you are not getting the emotional support from your family, you need to get it from somewhere else. Yes, this board will be a good source but, please, do not let it be your only source. Talk with your doctor to see if there is a support group in your town. Talk with a counselor at school. Talk to the preacher/pastor/priest at your church/synogue. Get on line and find a local support group. People need personal contact in times of crisis, and believe me, this is a crisis in your life. You have never before faced the decisions that you will need to make. Not to make you feel like a child, but you are so young; you may not have the emotional maturity to make the treatment decisions that will need to be made. Depending upon your treatment, there may be times when you don't want to move out of your bed and you just need someone to hold you hand - and that requires a living, breathing person in the room with you. Maybe you need a shoulder to cry on - and that shoulder needs to be attached to a human being who cares about you.
Talk with your closest friends. Explain your need for emotional support. Tell them exactly what you told me: you aren't dying today. You aren't this fragile person that needs to be treated with kid gloves. You are the same person they have always known, just now you have a disease that needs to be treated. Explain to them you need them to help you LIVE with cancer, not die from cancer. Are they going to get it? Not always. But if even one gets its, that's a big step for you and them.
It's not going to be easy. It's very hard to bare your emotional soul and ask for help. We always fear rejection. But you never know who will step up and help out, if that person only knew what you needed. And how can they know if you don't tell them?
I can't say don't fight with your friends - that's hard. There are not 2 people on Earth that will always agree on everything all the time. And I can only imagine the heartache you have between your diagnosis and the emotional abandonment of your family. That's got to be the makings for a lot of anger. Channel that anger at the disease, fight this cancer with that anger, let it be the fire that drives you to find out all you can on how you can beat this. And share that fire with your friends; they may surprise you. And you may surprise yourself.
If it's OK with you, I'd like to know your first name so I can add you to the prayer chain at my church. I will be praying that someone will be there for you.
Please let me know how you are.
Beverly
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