On 5/4/2008 rncaregiver wrote:
My husband has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 EC with mets to liver, kidney and lung. We were told without the mets...survival of 12 months is expected but due to the mets....4-6 months. Doctor also stated "that doesn't mean I haven't seen someone at 2 1/2 years". While I am saddened by this news I am also a realist and take charge person while my spouse procrastinates by nature. I am having anxiety over what the future will bring for both of us. At this point he is talking of "going back to work next week" but it is difficult to even get off the couch or take a shower. I am trying to encourage him to get our affairs in order but he heard "2 1/2 years". I would and am looking forward to the 2 1/2 years but also feel we should get things in order now so we can enjoy those years. I am so afraid he will depart this world and no affairs will be in order. I need help and not sure where to turn.
Hi there, Although you aren't too clear on what you mean by your "affairs not being in order" I assume you mean an estate plan? If so, I would recommend that you get a referral to an estate planning attorney and speak to him/her over the phone and explain the situation. I know that this is a very sensitive subject when there is a serious illness involved. Believe me, I know. My dad was diagnosed in January this year. I work for an estate planning attorney and of course I thought about bringing it up but it was hard. You may be surprised at how sympathetic attorney's in this field are, some if not most will come to your home to make it easier for you and your family.
If your husband is reluctant, don't pressure him. He is going through alot and I strongly believe that we can not even begin to imagine what it feels like to be diagnosed with such an awful desease and then hear 2 1/2 years. For someone like my dad, and probably your husband, it just isn't long enough. Not for any of us. It is hard on all of the people that love them but they are the ones going through it.
It may help to understand that estate plans are important not because he is sick but because EVERYONE needs one, it saves your loved ones time and money. Its like life insurance, everyone should have it.
Hang in there and keep the faith, doctors do what they can but miracles do happen, don't give up and yes, enjoy everyday and every moment you have.
God bless!