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Quality V. Quantity

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Subject: RE: Quality v. quantity
Date: 05/08/2008
This very dilemma has now surfaced in our family.  My brother has been fighting stage 4 kidney cancer for 9 months.  The kidney was removed last August, along with several lymph nodes and another tumor that had spread to his groin area.  He has had several bouts of both radiation and chemo because the cancer spread to his brain and lower back in February but the last bout of radiation on his back really hurt one of his legs and so to avoid a permanent wheelchair, he was sent to a rehab hospital for a week.  He came home a week ago and with the help of his daughter and son-in-law with whom he resides, he has been coping very well.  However, his doctors decided that nothing else could (or should) be done, mentioning the dreaded "hospice" word -- which "hospice" is now his home and the doctors will not do anything else, saying that another bout with chemo could either kill him or make him susceptible to dangerous infections.  I believe this news led to his stress-filled depression two days ago and yesterday he was in such pain that the nurse that stays with him during the day decided to put him on morphine and declared he is at the end -- whether it be hours, days or weeks -- that it would be very soon. We have all been planning a big family reunion (at his request back in January) for next week in his hometown 1,000 miles away from most of us, and that reunion has been keeping him so vibrant and happy.  And then, because of his doctors, he may not make it to next week.  His daughter has been constantly reminding him of the reunion and telling him he CAN fight it more with chemo (as one doctor said) after the reunion and yesterday his physical health just totally did a 180 -- he's back to feeling good and wanting to fight on.  I believe that stress and lack of hope will only begin the downward process of pain-filled death -- even on the morphine.  But hope, love and family could make whatever time is left a beautiful part of his life.

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