Thanks a lot for all prayers and thoughts. The last two weeks had been strenuous as you can imagine. We are still fighting, and it is not just against the disease.
Despite gbm, my wife is an extremely health person. It may sound ironic, but this had been a huge reason for worry. Usually young and healthy people tend to stay longer periods in each stage of a terminal disease. That’s happening right now. After a gigantic sequence of new deficits and losses, a new one every day, she stabilized. There is nothing new happening at plain sight and hospitalization itself is a matter of worry: pneumonia, infection, feeding issues…etc. These had been my main concerns in the last days.
A tomography revealed that little had changed anatomically from the start of her decline up to the current status. She only stays tranquil when hardly sedated. Otherwise she still screams (usually faintly). There is no significant increase of intracranial pressure - what could cause pain - so most of the screaming could be attributed to neurological damage.
Evidently she spent most of the day sleeping – partially due to tumor, partially due to medication.
My mother-in-law and I take shifts by her side, but I confess it is preferable to stay at the hospital. It is too hard to get back home alone. My daughter still sleeps at my mother, so my house is empty most of the time. The worst thing to deal is this urge for an anticipated grief.
Thank so much for all of you that had been praying for us.
The harder it becomes, more we acknowledge the presence of others carrying for us.