Good Morning NewGeneaChild;
The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones.
MM is a cancer of the plasma cells. Some experts consider it a cancer of the blood and rank it behind Non-Hodgekens Lymphoma as the most prevalent. Perhaps your Mom's has progressed into her bones and this is what is confusing the Dx.
Regarding your feelings about not treating her, a friend of the family was Dx. with cancer and decided to forego the chemo and radiation in keeping his quality of life and the inevitable versus the prolonged fight and the accompanying side effects. Most definately an individual choice! One that may be influenced by the patients' age and prognosis. I wish you well in your decision.
Take care;
Kevin