On 5/12/2008 NewGuineaChild wrote:
Cath - WOW. Your email really really really opened my eyes and helped me see how NEGATIVE I've been - and my 5 siblings, too. I was so encouraged by your message to me that I immediately called a brother in Florida to read it to him - but I forgot in my happy panic that he is 2 hours ahead of me and already in bed - so I'm copying and pasting your text to an email instead and am going to send it to all my brothers and sisters for them to find when they get to their computers in the morning. One of the biggest things I got out of what you said is that the attitudes we have now - which will of course affect our mom's attitude - will impact how she copes with this disease. I do know she is a fighter and has said she is not ready to die. We just thought she was in denial - I am ashamed to say...but now after reading your email and hearing how you've surpassed your initial prognosis, etc., well, I have tears in my eyes -- for you, whom I've never even met, and for my momma whose time may have not yet come after all. Thank you so much for your lengthly and informative and POSITIVE email to me. I can hardly wait to dialogue with my siblings in the morning. There is still so much we need to educate ourselves about. I am encouraged by your story! Bless you - and best wishes, -B
Hi New Guinea Child
My is name is Poppy. I was diagnosed with stage 4 MM in September 2006. I have lesions on my pelvic bone my spine and some ribs. My pelvic bone looks a piece of swiss cheese. I am in pain sometimes but not all of the time. I am now on my fourth different chemo. My white blood cell and red blood cell counts go up and down. When they are up I can receive treatment. But the chemo drives them down along with the cancer count. When they are just too low the chemo has to stop. The last time the counts went too low and the chemo was stopped, the cancer came back worse than it did when I was first diagnosed.
I say all of this to say I'm glad everyone didn't give up on me and want to put me out of my misery back at the first set back. As long as my dr has an idea for something new to try then I'm game. When I go down I will go down swinging for the fences. I do know that as long as my body will respond to treatment there is hope, but when the organs in my body start to reject the poison being injected in me the game is over. I am the last person in the world who wants to burden my wife and family, by extending treatment in a hopeless situation. I want my family to remember me with fond memories and not the memories of the final days of my life, if I am suffering and in a painful state. So me and my family will face that time when it comes.
I see by your latest posting here that you see where you and your siblings have realized your error in just throwing in the towel at the first sign of MM. Maybe there isn't a cure but God is still in the miracle business. He is in charge of everyone of us and our fight against MM. We need our spouses and our kids to help and support us. I know my wife is my rock and I am hers. I will pray for you and your Mom. May God Bless all of you.