On 5/12/2008 NewGuineaChild wrote:
Thanks for your input, Jan. My mom's doctors are in dialogue with doctors at the Mayo Clinic about her MM: on their recommendation at the Mayo, her oncologist has her on VELCADE - which does seem to be helping. I got a better answer regarding what one of them had said about MM being "merciful". I misunderstood -- I think what was said is that once my mom goes into total renal failure, it's basically something like a 10-to-15-day-countdown-to-heaven...and at that point as her body ceases to be able to rid itself of toxins, they'll build and build and it is this process that causes her to be more or less numb to pain. If I understood that correctly...I'm getting this third hand from another sibling... it still doesn't make any sense to me. The other confusing point is that I've heard one doctor say she has bone cancer, but I looked MM up and it specifically says on MedNet.com that MM is NOT bone cancer... it starts in the blood cells not the bone cells... but another doctor said mom has "secondary bone cancer" because it IS now in her bones. You know, I just want to tear my hair out. Thanks again for taking the time to respond. It helps me not feel so alone to know my family isn't the only one going through what we are with our mom. -B
I lost my mom. She was in ICU and the doctor told us that we should probably remove my mom from the breathing machine. He said that she was not in pain because the body produces a chemical that numbs the pain. We did not remove the breathing machine. She was scared and in lots of pain. She was not in a coma. Then, the doctors came in and told us that we needed to find a nursing home that could take a patient on a breathing machine. We needed to find one by the next Monday. On Friday, she died suddenly from a heart attack and even the nurse was shocked. Of course there was a code blue. Nothing. Not even a slight jump. They said that they tried everything and there was absolutely no response. Even her main doctor was shocked.
It is really hard to know what the end result will be because we are the hands of one greater than we.
My main man was in the hospital expected to not live, not supposed to be in great pain, which he validated. Somehow, he turned the corner, and is at home causing me and his family grief. It's the good kind. What I have found out is that machines can scare a person to death. So it's a good idea to talk to them if you can. Keeping a patient as calm as possible actually helps the body with its healing process.
Another thing that I have learned along the was is this. If a doctor tells you that someone is in a coma, they can probably tell everything that is going on in the room, they just can't let you know they know. I learned that from a friend that was in a coma for 30 days.
At best, these are going to be rough times, but your strength comes from a loving God. He will see you through.
Blessings