I am so sorry to hear about your Father's passing. I lost my dad four years ago on Christmas morning. I still am numb to this day. It is hard to visit my Mom at the home they shared for 42 years without him being there. I too helped my Mother take care of Dad when he was diagnosed, seven months total. The only thing that eases my pain is knowing he isn't suffering or dealing with the daily pain of cancer any longer. I want to say it gets eaiser but you never really get over a loss as close as this. Some days are better than others but the daily living is the hardest. Holidays will never be the same. Christmas was my parents favorite time of the year. Dad would be in charge of the outside of the house and Mom would decorate the inside. It took my Mom until this past Christmas to even put up a tree. Mom probaly has suffered the most in her mourning process. My Dad was her soul mate and rock.I have encouraged her to join a support group but she refuses to talk to strangers. I do see a therapist and it does reallly help deal better. Your Dad would want you to continue on and he probaly wishes he could hold you and say everything is going to be ok. Sometimes I take the selfish approach and say they had it so easy they get to die and have a peaceful life now and we get to live in hell on earth. You can't think that way I know, you should be happy they are safe and at peace now, but we are humans and a selfish beast at times. Get support where you can and even do some volunteer help for somebody in worse shape than yourself. Think positive and take good care of yourself. Take the time every day to reflect on the happy times and then do something nice for yourself that makes you feel better. I will say a prayer for you to have peace and start to heal from such a tramatic event.
God bless, Sheryl