On 5/16/2008
lolamojo wrote:
I am losing my sweet mother to lung cancer, and she is suffering pretty badly right now and I cannot convince her to relieve her pain by taking any sort of pain meds now.
It is so hard for me because I am the only child and my father just passed from liver cancer almost two years ago now. I have family, but they are old and not able to travel often. I have one cousin who is helping me out 2-3 days a week. We will also be starting hospice next week.
My problem is that I lose patience with my mom when she won't take her sleeping meds and/or pain meds. I am praying for patience and direction from God to help. It is almost unbearable at night when I see her restlessness/pain, and I can do nothing for her. I need sleep or I cannot care for her during the day. I feel like I just need to make it to Monday/Tuesday and then hospice will help, but they really won't be doing anything but visiting for short visits and then I am left all alone with her again with no one to talk to or help me w/ the endless chores, rounds of medication, draining the pleurx catheter, washing the sheets, shopping, cooking, etc..
Has anyone else had this resistance to pain/sleep meds from their loved one or friend that they have had to deal with as a caregiver? If so, how did you convince the patient that it was best for them to rest?
Sleepless in Houston
Hi,
I really feel for you; I know some of what you are experiencing. It is too much to do alone. I went through it with my mother, but I was lucky to have help. You need to sleep.
You may want to investigate Hospice houses if there are any near you. They are not like hospitals and you would be able to stay with your mother as much as you wanted. You would have the advantage of full time staff.
My mother also had problems sleeping near the end and she was not resistant to taking medications. My brother and I took turns sleeping next to her because she would wake up many times during the night. We also sometimes had someone who would do a night shift. I noticed that some of the meds seemed to agitate my mother, more than they really helped. We were able to have someone come in to do acupuncture and that often made her feel better, although everything was always very temporary. Reiki (one of the hospice home aids would give my mother free Reiki treatments) often helped her relax as well.
Please write to me if there is anything I can do or say to help. I know how hard it is. Roz