Dear Anthony
I have just read your message, and even as we speak you are probably in theatre. I wish I'd read it yesterday and replied, as I could tell you that my own husband (twenty years older than you) had his rad neph three weeks ago yesterday.
He's doing pretty well! Like you, his surgeon had hoped to do keyhole, but had to resort to open (six hour op!), so he's got three holes and a sharkbite (plus a lung drain) (my husband, not the surgeon, I should point out :) !
He was only in hospital five days in all, including two in immediate post-op intensive care (diaphragm had to be pierced to clean off the tumour). He went in for the op Monday pm, and was home Friday pm - and walking! And that wasn't regarded as unusual, I promise you.
So, I do hope when you get to read this, or maybe your wife can read them as well, you will have had a similar positive experience. My husband dreaded the op (even without the KC), and he really had to steel himself for it - but he's come through well, and so, I do hope, will you,
My husband was pretty much up and about from the day he came home, and going for walks around the houses in what is currently a lovely British summer (and good weather is cheering him up, I know).
Yes, we are scared - I am scared for him, and he is scared for me, and we are both scared for our son (who only knows his Dad has had to have his kidney out, not that the battle is not yet won completely!).
But, like you, we are so, so fortunate to be living at an age when there is more hope and promise for those families like ours, and also to be living in the developed world, and not having to cope with this in the middle of a third world country. We know we have the best that modern medicine can offer - and medicine that is getting better, and better all the time.
I do hope you make a good recovery. This period of initial diagnosis (ours was out of the blue, like so many, I understand) and emergency surgery is truly terrifying, but boy, is it 'character forming' (British understatement there!)
All the very best to you and your family.
"Dum spiro spero - while I breathe I hope" (our new family motto!)