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Feel Helpless As Things Spiral Downward...

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Subject: Feel helpless as things spiral downward...
Date: 07/06/2008
My Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in May. She is on Gemzar...do they figure in her weight and age when they decide how much to give her?  I am afraid as she loses weight she will not tolerated the high doses. She is due to start her second round of chemo, but is not doing well. She takes a small amount of morphine for pain, Ativan and Reglan for nausea, but she takes a quarter of the dose prescribed. She has never been a big pill person.  I am concerned because she has fallen in the house several times (she and my Dad live in a small home). He will drive her to shopping centers, supermarkets...I wish she wouldn't go...she almost fell at one place. Her whole physical and mental being is so weak and she is confused sometimes. When we go to the doctors they don't talk about much. How do you know when to call hospice?  Do you call them months before you need them, or only when the patient is bedridden?  What are the most common sites for pancreatic metastisis? Most cancers have a favorite site to migrate to; what is the one for pancreatic cancer?  I do not live with my parents, but part of me wants to take my Mom with me, so I can keep an eye on her...but it will be a 24-7 job, and she is not one to just sit and not be active. Any help would be appreciated. She is very independent and pretty much does what she wants. Doesn't always tell me when she is planning to go shopping, etc.  My father cannot say no to her. He can't help her though because of his physical condition (walker, etc.) She is also losing things now...and continues to do things "the hard way"...does things and goes to pharmacies that are inconvenient instead of those closer to home. I am really feeling frustrated. I feel helpless and I am afraid she will fall and break a hip or worse...what is the right thing to do????Thank you.

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