On 7/17/2008
kittysue wrote:
Hi,
I don't want to sadden anyone, but my dear mother passed away on June 2 from ovarian cancer- carcinoma sarcoma- which her oncloogist assures me is rare and has a 5-10% chance of genetic heredity... She was 72, a vegan (all organic) working fulltime, playing tennis 2x per week and healthier than me, her 43 year old daughter. It has been devestating, and I am trying to reach out to a woman (or someone else) who has experienced this kind of paralyzing loss..I read a sad/lovely message on this site from a daughter who expressed how she couldn't function- being outside in the sun- thinking about what her mom would be doing.... I am devestated...losing my Mom, my best friend, my compass... and doing all of the aftermath alone. Hospice has been FABULOUS, but at the end of the day, I still want my mom back. She was treated at Fox Chase Cancer Center for 16 months (she was on more trials than any of her oncologist's patients) which is irrelevant, but if you have any supportlive words, I would appreciate them. Grieving Daughter, Susan , Portland, Maine
Dear Susan,
You are not alone. I also like you, lost my mom to ovarian cancer, shortly after you, 6/27/08. She died in my arms, as I could hear her gurgiling her last 3 breaths, its a sound that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I am not a care taker, but I was her care taker. She was only 50yrs old, I just turned 28 a few days ago, but still feel like that little girl who needs her mommy. I am stuck in what you might call "survival mode" it means I can only perform the bare neccecities to keep myself alive, eating, bathroom, and occational sleep. Simple tasks like going grocery shopping, leaving the house, taking a shower, and the worst of all, just waking up, seem unfathamable. I have gone to grief counseling & tried medications, but nothing helps. Its ruining my life, and relationship with my fiance. I feel like I'm fighting my own little vietnam war in my head, I'm wearing myself thin, trying to put myself back together. All I do everyday is flasback to all the events of this tragedy, although everyone says time will heal, It goes in one ear and right out the other. I still have her phone number on speed dial, and call it so at first glance it looks like she called me. I'm so so sorry for your loss, I wish I could be more helpful. My prayers are with you. God help us all.
God bless you, ~L~