Sounds to me like your daughter is trying to protect you. You need to get involved in her care. I lost my 29 year old daughter last October after a 4 year battle with cervical cancer. My wife and I were involved with her every step of the way. We took her to MD Anderson in Houston, Sloan Kettering in New York, and the National Cancer Institute in Bethesda, Maryland trying to find something that could help her. Though all our efforts were in vane, we had to try. Though we still feel some degree of guilt over not being able to fix her boo boo, we do take some solice in knowing that we tried everything humanly possible to save her life.
Your daughter is trying to do this all alone, and that isn't right. No one can do this by themselves. Forget about "respecting her privacy". She feels alone and very scared. She need you now more than ever. Get involved. She will eventually welcome your help and love and support. I'm sure you don't want to look back later and wish you had gotten involved. If you don't know what to do contact the American Cancer Society or other Cancer support organization in your area. Many of them have financial assistance programs available if finances are an obstacle to her getting the best treatment. Most of all be an advocate for her. Don't accept no for an answer. Go on the web and educate yourself. Go to the doctors visits
with her. If your not happy with her doctors, get another opinion. Don't just be there for her, be there with her. You will regret it if you do not.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter. God Bless you.
A concerned father