This Might Open Up Old Wounds,Sorry

On 7/22/2008 angry wrote:

my mum had lung cancer we were never told what stage but with research think it was stage 3 or 4.she was diagnoised and in 10 months she died.

 

she had chemo she was fine infact for 9 months she had no problems a bit of a cough maybe but nothing in her life changed.even on chemo she never lost a pound in weight.after 9 months had passed she just came to my house,walked....and was a bit breathless,thinking it was a infection i took her to the hospital,they put her on oxygen,this was the first time she had to have it,they did a scan and it showed the tumours which had shrunk with chemo had come back and was pressing on her breathing tube.radiation was suggested,she had 10 days of it and they kept her in hospital to do it.

 

even on radiation she was fine eating walking around the hospital,in total she was in hospital for 4 weeks as she kept getting infections shed fight them then theyd come back she was up and down.for her last two days you could see she was weak but she was eating and talking,then suddenly one day we went to see her and she was dying............she died that night.

 

we knew she would eventually die from cancer but what killed her so soon just doesnt make sense,she didnt look ill and it wasnt a slow decline,which i am geatful for but she wasnt gasping for breath or coughing so what killed her? is this what happens to terminal cancer patients.we had a meeting with the dr and they said just everything became so weak inside her...............but i still cant get it.i was with my mum everyday,through this horrible journey and never missed a day seeing her.i also am the youngest in the family and i have a 2 year old but instead of this getting easier for me if anything its worse,i miss her so much and my eyes and body are tired from the loss.she died nearly 3 months ago.

 

sorry for going on but i need to be convinced i think that it was cancer that killed her and if anyone has lost someone to lung cancer they might help me from torturing myself etc,if i hadnt took her to hospital,hadnt let her have radiotherapy etc etc,we always thought she was coming home

Hi,

My mom died from lung cancer in February.  A tiny mass was first discovered accidentally in a pre-op lung x-ray in January 2007.  She went on to have a lobectomy that February and the results were good.  Both her surgeon and oncologist gave her a clean bill of health and no follow up treatment was considered neccessary at the time.  One year later she died from stage 4 lung cancer.  If I learned anything from all this, it's just how little anyone really knows.  Everyone, doctors included make the best choices they know to make, but there is a lot of guess work involved.  I have also wondered what could have happened if we did this instead of that, but we can't know.  You were there for your mother, and that's the important thing.  And she knew it.  I know that your mother wouldn't want you to be blaming yourself for anything, any more than my mother would want that for me.    Roz