Hello, I am a 47 yr old white man who is disabled from the Army and living alone. On june the 5th,2008 I decided to buy a new Harley Davidson and ended up having a wreck a few hours after leaving the shop. I've had 23 motorcycles since i was 18 and this was my first real accident. After going to the hospital because I knew I had a broken collar bone I was released hearing them tell me that I suffered no other injuries. Well, After coming home and getting weaker by the day I went to my local VA hospital where I found out that i had a ruptured spleen and a lacerated liver. I was sent out to another hospital where i needed surgery & a blood transfusion from the hemoraging inside and that is when the surgeons that were going to remove my spleen told me that I had a 5" tumor on my right kidney(renal cell carcinoma=cancer) and that they needed to save my spleen because I would need it for when I have the kidney removed. I suffered injuries when I was 18 in the Army and now take 60mg's of morphine sulphate every 6 hours along with 40mg's of methadone every 8 hours for pain. I recently saw a surgeon at a VA medical center and he said his concern was when they did surgury on me was keeping me comfortable afterwards. I have to say that I am a born again christian and that I have faith in what gods plans are for me but i am absolutly terrified of having to die a long drawn out painful death.I would hope that Hospice or someone could help me die as comfortable as possible.Being catherisized has always scared me also after having it done while awake. Surgery is scheduled for 9-15-08 at the VA medical center, but I also have an appointment at WVU(Ruby memorial hospital) on 8-30-08. I think that they are a far better hospital but I only have my medicare card which would leave me oweing 20% plus some docters fees. Any advice or info,support would be so greatly appreciated. I am now having fevers on a daily basis along with a 40pd weght loss over this past month and a half. More back pain also but tolynel has helped. Thank you