Hi Crystal,
My name is Vinnie and I know exactly how you feel. My father passed away on Jan. 15, 2003 and he had been sick with cancer for only 6 months from the day of diagnosis. In November 2003, the doctors told me that he would probably only live a month. He actually lived for two months. On New Year's Day, they told us he would go any day. He was alert and everything. He lived for 14 more days and passed at home.
It was the hardest thing I have ever endured. I prayed that God just give my dad the courage necessary to face each day. My father was a preacher and he believed in God and so do I. So, I prayed that I could be strong for him and my mother. My parents were living in Florida and I live in New Jersey. I moved my mother here two days after and buried my father a couple of days after that.
My dad and I spent his last 6 months of his life laughing and eating. We always had his favorite foods (when he could eat). We would laugh, laugh, laugh...even if he was in the hospital. I learned that time was precious and we didn't want to spend it just waiting for the worst to happen. We literally lived each day as if it were our last. And one day, that last day arrived, and I have no regrets because my dad and I talked, loved, and laughed.
So, as painful as it is, it will be even more painful. But, Crystal, make sure that you live life at its best. Touch your mother, hold her hand, smell her hair, listen to her speak, and enjoy her smile.
That's how you get through it...you just enjoy every waking moment, literally.
Hang in there...
Vinnie B.