Steph,
With your husband being so young he should be able go through this with good results. I have heard good things about Dr. Koch. With me also it was an operating room decision on the neo bladder, I was able to get the neo bladder and have the nerve sparing (worked) not a good thing with the catherer in. Big relief to know everything still works. He will look a bit like Frankenstein when he comes out of surgery, he will iv's and a couple of drainage tubes so don't let that alarm you. He will also have a morphine pump for the pain. It is a button he can push when he needs it. The faster he can get rid of the pump the better but tell him not to go through any unneccesary pain. I was able to get rid of my pump in about 3 days. The bowels won't wake up as long as there is morphine in your system. At this stage 20 days post op Tyleno is all I need to manage the pain. The first few days are the worst after that it gets better. Tell him to do every single thing the doctors and nurses ask him to do and to push it just a little. I found walking the first few times was very painful and tiring but after the walk I would lie down, sleep for a while and when I woke up I felt better. Not a lot better but better and got better with every walk. My heart goes out to him for what he is about to go through but remember you don't need an organ in you that is full of cancer. Even after 8 years it can still come back but not now. I am for the first time in 12 years cancer free.
Tim