Hello .4 weeks ago my wife had emergency surgery .would you believe they found a massive tumor the poor girl 42yrs of age had colon & rectum, abdominoperineal resection plus full historectomy she has metastatic adenocarcinoma three of of ten mesenteric lymph nodes are positive. i resigned my position to come home & caregive to her till next year when i have to go back to work &( bring home the bacon $$ )& for 3 weeks now i have done this as caregiver doing everything i can to make her Journey comfortable .she has a perminant colostomy (stomar)now & she goes back to the Onocologist on wednesday 14th dec 2005 for the Chemo set up stage i guess both of us are in a ? period as to what n where we go from here,is it all worth it ? doing Chemo ? however living now with this has not been easy her attitude has changed & she isolates herself in her room & hardly talks anymore but never complains & im proud to say she has taken this in stride well from the outside point of view ,but inwardly she is not the same & i have just become a caregiver servant & get no responce from her at all she just watches TV sleeps alot (understandable so ) but now i wonder where i am in this as i do not even get a hello ,goodmoring or goodnight word spoken to me its im non existant in a sence & recently when i bought a card & sat it on the mantel nothing was shared about it at all its a big ajustment but i am looking at a bigger picture & spiritually understand.i do not know what the future holds its one day at a time & im just learning through this experience, is there any other caregiver who has or is going through this ? id like your input. thanks for reading this .Phil