Hello Phil,
I can't tell you what to do as I am not walking in the same shoes as your wife. I can only speak as I am a caregiver to my husband who has cholangiocarcinoma, (cancer of the bile duct). Your wife had surgery only 1 month ago and I'm sure she is experiencing an extreme turnaround in her life to say the least. She is probably wondering where her life is going from this point. Give her time to respond to your gestures of speaking to her, cards you've given her and questions you may ask her or yourself. I pray for patience and guidance everyday. I too had to quit work to give my husband all the attention and comfort I can give him. You may not feel this right now but you are the most important person in your wife's life now. Just by you being there for her is the greatest part in her coming out of this emotionally. Hold her hand, tell her you love her and help her do whatever she can be up to doing for the day. Even if it doesn't seem much, showing her you are there for her is important. You have needs too and you will find time for some of them in time to come. Have patience, keep a positive attitude and have perservance. It's not easy but you are definetely not alone. Penny