Phil,
My name is Vinnie. I lost my father 3 years ago to kidney cancer after he suffered for only 6 months. My dad was not depressed at all, but one day he was rather cranky and not quite himself. I believe it was my mother that questioned him. He responded, "Do you know what it's like to know that you're going to die and die very soon?" She was stunned, to say the least.
My dad verbalized that we so take living for granted until we realize that we can't live that much longer.
I say that to say that maybe your wife is trying to come to terms with that. Maybe she is trying to find her way, emotionally. I once posted a message entitled "Taking yoursef out of the equation." I wrote that as caregivers we have to learn to let it be about our loved ones and not ourselves. That is probably the hardest thing to do because we are used to our loved ones considering us, as we do them. But, at a time like this, your wife may have a problem thinking that way because of her unfortunate circumstances.
I pray that you and your wife can find a way to enjoy any and all time together. I pray that she can appreciate you and you can appreciate her even if she can't return that to you.
I hope that I have said something to help you.
Praying for you,
Vinnie