As hard as it is to go through, it may help to know you are not alone. My father is my mother's primary caregiver and he has sheltered her when necessary and when not so necessary. He is very protective of her, and being overprotective has always been his nature anyway, so you can only imagine. The struggle is that he won't allow much help from his daughters or from others, i.e. family and friends. Don't get me wrong, he has done an excellent job caring for my mom and probably no one could have done what he has done. But it's important for caregivers to have time away from the situation, so that they maintain a perspective that is healthy for them. Plus, others in the family need to help as well. It's part of loving someone to want to help care for them. When one person monopolizes all caregiving, then it wears that person down and others are frustrated and helpless, left to grieve alone. I am sorry for you and I hope as time has passed, your father has allowed you to help more and to have more access to your mother.