Dear Janeen,
Thankyou so much for replying to me I really appreciate your thoughts, you asked me how long my husband suffered with cancer,. He was diagnosed in April 05, and was at first given about 24 months before he would start to decline, the doctors told us that he had a rare type of prostate cancer and that only 5% of men have been diagnosed with it in Australia, also he was the youngest being only 48. He started chemo in May 05 and had only three cycles but was told that it wasn't helping and to try radiation, he was so scared but never let us see how much, he tolerated chemo very well and did loose all of his hair but when it grew back it was so curly and baby soft he was able to make jokes all the time with the kids and friends. He had a month straight of radiation and did suffer very much with the side affects it caused. After radiation finished, about three weeks later a new man appeared he felt well and even started to do things outside in the yard. He always told me to stay inside while he was doing something and became very mysterious. He started to feel ill again but soldiered on and he presented me with a wishing well he made from old paling fence wood.It really became a labour of love as he could barely stand for 10 mins at a time now. I love it and have actually put his ashes inside the well and we sit next to him and talk have a coffee say good morning good night or just sit and think. The kids know he is there, and feel he will always watch over them.
In October he went into hospital and they told me that he may only have about 10 months approximate as the cancer was growing to fast. I never let him know , He had enough nightmares about what was happening to him as it was. In December he went back into hospital and unfortunately our rental house was sold and we had to move at the same time now we had to find a house that was ground level and no steps and of course if we could afford it as we were now on a diabled pension. He couldn't help with the moving and even though he was too weak to help I think he would have felt as though he had some say and control of his life, he came home the day before christmas eve, he felt well and even wanted to do some christmas shopping. He liked our new home and even though the kids had to change schools and had to meet new friends they never let on how much they hated what sadness they were going through. In February he went back into hospital for three weeks and this time they told me he didn,t have very long as he lost his eye sight in the left eye, his liver, spine, lungs,and his right eye was deteriating, he fought hard to come home and he was only home for a week before he had to return as now his blood wouldn't clot and we couldn,t slow it down due to his platlets he was in hospital for two weeks , the doctor came and told us that he only had a few hours left and to say any thing we had to say, now, I was in so much shock that we just sat there next to each other and said very little the kids were to scared to say anything as they told me later that if they said any thing that it meant that he was dying and they thought that if they said nothing he would live.{if only it worked} he died with all of us around him two days later. He was one of 9 children and all of his family and their children were with him also. He said he didn,t want to die alone and he certainly did not.
He had cancer for 11 months.
I am actually alone for the first time as my children have gone away to a camp for bereaved children with a group called Canteen the group is especially trained to help them to cope and meet other children going through the same sadness. My children are a daughter 19, my diabetic daughter 13, and my son 12 {who is his father exact}.
Well I certainly have told you more than I meant to, sorry, please let me know how you are going, how old are your child/children do they understand {who really does},
regards to all Debbie