Debbie,
We live in the Chicago (USA). We definitely do have a lot of similarities. I must tell you that you sound so incredibly strong. I hope that as things continue with my husband that I can be the pillar of strength that he needs. My friends tell me all of the time that I am strong, however, I don't feel like I am. I know you are right about telling your children the truth and that is something that I have always done with my daughter. I think a big part of the reason that I have not given full disclosure is because it was something that I didn't want to face myself. I think I had many excuses for not being totally honest. First it was truly because I knew that he was going to beat this then is was because she was starting her freshman year of high school and I didn't want to worry her because she is very sensitive when it comes to family. Then it became too close to finals to say anything and now I don't want to ruin her summer. My daughter is very bright, I'm sure she knows more than I am telling her but is trying to stay strong herself.
Where do you live? That I am aware of, the only way to get the kind of care that you are talking about is if a doctor orders that kind of care and the doctor's here seem pretty reluctant to do that. Also, my husband is really proud and wants to do things on his own.
I suppose at some point I'll have to tell her everything. Right now, he isn't feeling too well. His 40th birthday is next weekend and he just said to me that he seems to be deteriorating right before me and wonders if he is going to make it to his 41st birthday.
I really don't know what I am going to do without him around. I am still prayerful that he will recover from this. I do know what a wonderful man I have. He is always thinking about us first. Lately he has been trying to make sure that things are in order and that my daughter and I don't want for anything. He wants to make sure he leaves us in a better position.
His self esteem seems to be at an all time low. He has lost so much weight that he doesn't really care for his appearance anymore. He however is a little different from your husband in that he doesn't talk much about how he is feeling and how scared he is. Sometimes we simply co-exist in the house together.
I really hope that your children enjoy the camp and that it takes a little bit of the stress off of them but mostly, I hope that you can maintain continued peace.
I am really pleased that you reached out to me. It is very difficult to talk to other people sometimes because they really don't understand. You and you family are in my thoughts and prays.
I look forward to your new message. Take care and thank God you are internet savy now or I wouldn't have anyone to correspond with.
Janeen