Dear Janeen, Hello sorry for not replying but I haven't been feeling very sociable lately, I really hope I can lift my self up as at the moment I'm quite blue. As you know sometimes things just seem to bury you and you can't see the light, I know it is there , but where?,. My kids have shown me how to use the MSN and Hotmail. Would you like to write to me this way if you do my MSN address is, --- Message edited by CancerCompass staff: for personal protection, email address removed. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at
http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html ---- I don't know the time differences between Chicago and Australia but we could work it out. Anyway how is it going with you and your family? I think that puberty should be banned if you have a daughter .I hate what mine is going through. Of course I don't know anything that she does, and anything I say is wrong, her BSL readings are coming down to an acceptable level but I have had to be so strict that we are fighting all the time, she thinks that she can do what she wants and still have the readings the Drs want her to have. I know that it will work out in the end but, oh boy! I'm having trouble getting Johns' tax group certificate from our Centrelink agency ( of course it is a government agency),I have been trying for the past month and each time they said they have sent it to me, and I say that I haven't received it seems to be just to hard for them to post it to me. Of course I can't get our tax done without it and I can't tell the dentist whether or not to go ahead with my sons braces if I don't know how much tax i'll receive. I said can I come into the office and pick it up, and you know what they said, the only one that can pick it up is john, as I'm not down as his partner anymore, I said are you serious , I said John has died in March !how on earth can he come in, she said that is just policy . Well it is just another hurdle I will have to jump over. If I wasn't so down I would probably laugh at the stupidity of it.
How are you going have you stopped losing weight?, The ones who loose weight usually don't need to, but people like me never loose. Unfortunately I have been using any type of food as comfort food and I have put on an astronomical amount. I always have been big, but I can't seem to stop myself, even though I know that it is hurting my health I am type 2 diabetic and I should know better.
Does your husband talk to anyone on the net about his cancer, like we do? he might find some help this way.
Please try to get past the anger at each other, because you are not angry with each other just at the cancer and the stress it brings. The only time we actually went out together for a meal and to the pictures (which was a surprise for me), was 19th January 06, we went to a chinese, resturant, and to the pictures, it was for our 21st wedding anniversary, and I will always remember it as we never went out for our anniversaries before. Poor john tried to enjoy the movie but he couldn't, even stay awake, he had developed hypercalcaemia,( but we didn't know it then ),he said he did have a good time .
I was going through some papers last week and found some old pastport photos of John when he was well, and I think that the surprise of finding them has upset me more than I could have thought possible. I don't know why because we have pictures of john all over the house.
Well I'll say goodbye until next we chat,
Debbie