Donald,
My husband is having the same feelings you are about the bladder removal being overkill. He had the small tumor removed from inside his bladder last November but the urologist did not feel that he got all of it, that it was into the muscle wall. He has just finished 3 rounds of chemo with cysplatin and gemcitobine last Thursday. He has been so sick since then, I cannot even describe it to you. He has not been dressed or out of bed since then. He cannot make it to the bathroom unless he crawls on all fours. He is dizzy and weak, can't hear or see. The dry heaves finally let up a bit today, but he has not eaten anything much at all. Today a sandwich and ice cream, that is the most he has eaten in a week. We are supposed to book his surgery for a month from now to have the bladder removed, but I wish there was a test that showed if they really need to or not. As you say, maybe the chemo was the worst, and the surgery will be a piece of cake after that. We are from Canada and there does not seem to be much of the neobladder thing happening here, not from the doctors we've talked too. He will probably opt for the bag if he can even bring himself to go through with it. I am taking him to hospital tomorrow to see if they can give him a blood transfusion to raise his hemoglobin, maybe that will help him to feel better faster.
I wish I had discovered this site sooner, it is very helpful