Hi Donald,
My husband's cancer did go into the first layer of the muscle wall. Fortunately, the chemo worked to stop the cancer and he is now cancer free. As I said before, the chemotherapy was by far the worst part of this horrible experience. My husband was so tired, weak and nauseous for a good majority of the treatment. He lost a lot of weight.
As Tim (Penguin) stated, with the neobladder you pee just as you always have; no bag or anything. Some people are not candidates for neobladder, for my husband, it was an operating room decision. If my husband had not had the chemotherapy, it is highly likely that he would not have been able to get the neobladder. I would talk to your doctor about it. Also, if you choose to have the bladder removed, make sure you get a good surgeon. We live in Louisville, KY and the doctors here in our town were not even familiar with neobladders; the only option they had for my husband was a bag. We traveled to Indianapolis, IN and my husband was treated by a doctor that has been performing this operation for over 15 years. Thanks to the second opinion we received in Indianapolis, in a couple of months my husbands lifestyle should be as good as it was (maybe better!) pre-cancer.
If you have any additional questions, please don't hesitate to ask. I learned so much here after my husbands diagnosis. Knowing that other people overcame this horrible disease was a huge inspiration to us.
Good luck. Steph