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Scared

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Subject: Scared
Date: 08/27/2006
I'm 30 and have stage 3b large carncinoma lung cancer. I can really emphasize what your husband went through. I live with this everyday and its pretty stressful. I was on Navelbine for a month in Jan and it dropped my cell counts so low that I developed a staph infection. I was in the hospital for 13 days, for 5 or 6 days I could only breathe through my nose and I didn't eat or sleep at all for about a week. I amlost died.

I don't know if you are a spiritual person or not, but I am. I kept two verses in my head from Psalms. Be Still and know I am God. Also, Psalm 23 The Lord is my shepard and I shall not want.

This helped me a lot. I had to trust that God would see me through this because I couldn't or can't do it alone. It took A LOT of patience, prayer and TRUST! I had to trust my oncologist! Love her. Her name is Amy Lang of South Texas Oncology and Hematology located in the Cancer Treatment and REsearch Center (CTRC) in San Antonio. I found her online, on the Super Doctors list printed by Texas monthly and decided to use her as my second opinion. I hated my first doctor we didn't communicate well and it increased my fear.

My suggestion is to find an oncologist you trust and communicate and the rest is up to God. The thing about going through all of this stuff is to realize too that the doctors are people too and they're not God. They are good people making an educated guess at how to solve the problem. We are all experts in different fields of study in life. We all have gone through this process. Sometimes, we're right and sometimes we're wrong or sometimes our gut tells us this in not teh right thing to do. There are no certainties or guarantees of living or surviving cancer. The only thing that is certain or controllable is our attitude about the disease. We are not our disease. Attitude is everything in this battle, even on the days...well, especially the days you don't feel like fighting. Fight like hell. Love like hell. May grace, peace and courage be with you. There is a great book by Randy Becton about cancer. Its a dollar or 2 on half.com. Read it. It helps.

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