Wow, your message really touched my heart. I am 37, my husband is 40 (married for 5 yrs) and diagnosed 10/14/06 with Signet Ring Cell Carcinoma/Colorectal. They gave him 4-5 months at that time. We have a blended family of 6 kids from 19 down to 2. He seems to be deteriorating fast. I haven't pulled away, in fact, I try to be much closer. But who's to say that I wont down the road. I'm so glad I read your post. You've been going through this for a very long time. I have up days and down days but the down days are because I feel so bad about what he's going through and I feel so scared at how my life is going to majorly change. I try to stay focused on the fact that my time to grieve will be when it's over. I throw myself into taking care of him, the kids, house and work (I work from home). It's a very hectic schedule for me and I think that's what makes it easier, the busier I am,the less time to think about it. Although, my husband isn't very mobile. He can hardly walk and intimacy is the last thing on his mind. I hurt for you and your family and I hope you can find it in you to do what's right for your family, whatever that may be. Only you know the answer to that. I will surely be praying for you and yours. You're a good person and your heart is pure. Thank you for the post. It really opened my eyes up to what an emotional roller coaster all of us caretakers go through. Stay strong. God bless you.