Hey Suzanne. I can totally sympathize with what you are going thru right now.
My 38 yr old husband has renal cell carcinoma and is on Sutent(a pill) because it spread to his lungs. He was diagnosed 3mths ago. We have a 22mth old little girl and she knows something is going on although she is too young to know how serious his health issues are. It breaks my heart to watch her look at him and he cries all the time because he thinks that he will never get to see her grow up.
It is hard not to be devestated when the life you imagined with the man of your dreams is suddenly put on hold by this awful disease.
My advice to you is to have hope and pray on a daily basis. God doesn't want you and your family to be in agony. Miracles do happen and they can happen here. Go see another doctor, do research relentlesly on the computer. There are alternative treatments,Organic diets, supplements etc. They are coming up with new advances almost daily and he has youth on his side..
The pill(Sutent) that my husband is taking was only approved by the FDA in January. This medicine cuts off the blood supply and shrinks and kills tumors. Unbelieveable that a little capsule can do so much.
It is only natural to pull away to protect yourself from some of the hurt. I've done it some myself, but after I have a long chat with God I always feel better about things.
Just know that you are not alone in this fight and never accept what some doctor says as a time line for your husbands life.
I found it very comforting to find a survivors network for renal cell(kidney cancer)I spoke with a 76 year old woman who was diagnosed 14 years ago and she had it in 5 places all over her body and here she is today, living her life with 11 grandchildren.
I also just read Lance Armstrong's book - Its not about the Bike, My journey back to life. It is so inspiring. Please try to read it if you have a chnace.
Take care and don't give up hope!
Feel free to write anytime.