Hi, I feel your pain and as I am reading your story I am saying to myself,I feel the same way.My husband was 34 when he was diagnosed and has been battling colon cancer stage4 for 3 years.We have two daughters age 9 & 11 and a 18 year old daughter who couldn't take it anymore,so she moved out a month ago.Sometimes I just want to run away.It is so hard to see my strong husband widdle away.He also was on Erbutux& Camptosar,he got very sick on it lost all his hair,and lost alot of weight. He was 210,now he weighs 130.It is horrible and I can't believe so many young and old people are going through this.I also cry my eyes out daily,because my husband is now the worst he has ever been.I sometimes think it must be easier for someone to lose their husbands in a car accident or some other way,because then it would just be over.But after all the why me?And Why him ? And what did we do wrong ? I have begun to live day by day,and it is really helping.I stopped thinking about the future and who will walk my daughters down the isle on their wedding day,and how am I going to go on.I know it is so hard,and I always say yeah it just sucks!!But with the power of prayer,and heathy eating and a positive attitude anything is possible.Stay stong for your husband even though it is a struggle,I know how you feel and I think it is normal to feel that way.Someone told me "don't let the worries of tomorrow,rob you of your strength today"and that is how I live my life now.Please keep me posted,my prayers are with you and your family.SW