I am so sorry for your news. It is like getting hit in the stomach really hard over and over. My mom ,although older than yours, was also a very active healthy woman whose diagnosis hit us out of the blue. Here are some of my thoughts after looking back on the past 5 months (since her diagnosis):
. you will get through...I believe God carries us when we ask and need him.
. you will find angels along the way to help you...let them
. an oncology nurse once told me that I should try not to listen to any news or stories of PC (or other cancers) that are more than 5 years old because the medical field advances so quickly.
. your grandpa suffered from cancer as did mine but there are also so many ways now to make people comfortable if the cancer is advanced. (But even advanced cancer can be treated!).
. having said that, I would also say , try and keep a "positive realism", celebrate the good news but stay even because there will be days of bad news along the way.
. if she is able to have the Whipple procedure to have the tumor removed, find the best doctor you can. It is a major surgery and you want someone who has done many. (we had a great surgeon in Cinti)
. there are no dumb questions..require that physicians give you a chance to ask and understand all options, risks, etc. Be patient active!
. ask about this new drug Tarceva that is showing some promise.
. try and deal one day at a time with the facts...I would lay in bed and think about my mom's funeral and how my babies won't know her and that will drive you crazy and is a waste of energy.
By the way, my mom's tumor was operable, there was local lymph node involvement so now she is finishing up 5 months of chemo/radiation/chemo and hopefullt some remission after this. There were days that I look back on and do not know how we did it but we did and you will. Give what you cannot handle to God and tell him "heck with it. It is your burden to carry. I'm full today". I have found peace in that.
Keep me posted along your journey