Thank you so much for what you said after replying from my message. I wasn't expecting someone to reply, but I wanted someone to. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but now I know someone that has something in common with me that I can easily talk to. I can talk to my mum about it sometimes, but then I feel awkward and guilty as she usually ends up crying. And I can't talk to it about my sister, as she doesn't like talking about him and I can understand why obviously. My dad was called Ian, and he worked at a printing buisness. I can remember when I went to his funeral with my family, and I was missing a day off school. After the service, while everyone was looking at all the flowers, we went over to a bench outside away from everyone else and had a cry. I can remember looking at a grave stone thing, with the name James Bond on it, which cheered me up. Some of the things that can just upset me are like the fact he never saw me go to high school, or he will never see me go to university or college. Or my 18th and 21st birthdays, or even if I get married. Strangely I feel so alone, as none of my friends have lost a parent, yet I know loads of people across the world have the same problem as me, or worse. Sometimes life can be hard without him, but I try to make my mum laugh. Being the youngest, I don't have a clear memory of him like anyone else. Plus theres lots more photo's of him and my sister together of mum and him together. So I feel a bit jelous at times. I'm sure everyone around you will want to spend a great Christmas with you, and I hope you do too! I hope you stay in touch with the website, and remember your husband will always love you no matter where he is.