You are NOT rambling - you're just reaching out and rightfully so! This is hard on you too so seek help while you attempt to help him. It sounds like you have found this out very late, so I don't expect you will have much time with him left so cherish the moments you do have.
I've been fortunate as I am at 26 months and still fighting since finding my colo-rectal cancer had spread to my liver - the average is 18 months and only 4-15% ever reach the 60 month mark.
Please feel free to contact me or find someone locally to unload on or with - I have my cherished friends and a loving wife as well as family and that has made a world of difference but I know how hard this is on those closest to me and especially to those with whome I share my pain and fears. It is hard 'knowing' what to do or say for you, but really all he wants is for you to be there, hold his hand and tell him you love him.
John Bunton