I can understand your feelings. My brother in law is in the hospital with angiosarcoma. No one can tell us much of anything. I can't seem to find anyone with this type of cancer. Also, research looks bleak. My sister is a basket case. Even her husband,as sick as he is, suggested she see her doctor to get help. I think it is normal to ask the "why me" quetions. We all feel like we've been punched in the stomache. Do you have a friend or someone you can really talk to? Please keep in touch.