My dad is just 53 years old and was diagnosed July '06 with stage IV adenocarcinoma of the lung. His primary tumor is in the apex of his right lung. There's several nodules in the right lower and 2 tumors in the left. The cancer was also detected in his lymph nodes. I am starting to have a difficult time dealing with it now. It is so weird because he had no symptoms and the cancer was found due to an injury after a fall. I have responded to others on these message boards, just saying stay positive and keep the faith! That's what I was doing; it was much easier to do when I honestly thought my dad was on the road to recovery. Now, it's not looking that way.
I can't believe how fast cancer changes everything! I broke down and lost it when the oncologist said he could only prolong my dad's cancer with chemo. I felt really bad because he is the one who is fighting the disease and I am being selfish thinking about the "what if's". We have talked about that and he actually said that he's glad that happened, he never doubted it, but knows how much I really love him and care about him.
I am just 32 years old. I live in Michigan. I am a stay at home mom and a nursing student. I have 5 of his 7 grandbabies. He is extremely close to my kids because the other 2 live in North Carolina. He still doesn't want me to tell the kids yet. I really want to respect his wishes (and have thus far) but my kids had a really hard time when my husbands mother passed away in Nov '05. My kids are 1, 5 yr old twins, 7, & 9. It was my 7 and 9 year old that took the news of their grandma the hardest (5 & 7 at the time). My kids are soooo close with my dad, their papa. They think things aren't the same because he hasn't fully recovered from his accident. They don't understand why we can't just pop in anymore. I never know how he'll be feeling when we're out and about, not to mention the germs.
According to repeated tests, everything was going well as of Nov. Now, my dad is very exhausted, beginning to get the pain back in his shoulder, and is vomitting quite often. Just 2 nights ago, He couldn't even lay down because it hurt to breathe.
I have so many unanswered questions within myself. All in all, I only want honesty. What should I do about talking to the kids? How do I regain that confidence that I had in the beginning? I also have 2 brothers, one in Ohio and one is a Marine in Iraq. Do I need to get the boys back here? I've always been honest with them, but I felt like this was only going to be an obstacle we'd overcome. I want to know of others experiences so I can do the right things...or at least try to...I never ever want to give up the faith and I also believe God only knows what he has planned for my dad. Please, any advice will be appreciated.
Thanks for reading and God Bless,
Tracey