First of all please know how sorry I am to hear of your Dad's illness. My husband is stage 3B and in a clinical trial as he has not responded to treatment. He is worn out and in a lot of pain. It is very hard for little kids to grasp the concept of terminal illness. Our oldest grandchild is 10 and has been told Papa has cancer but I don't think he really understands what is going on. We have 2 granddaughters ages 5 & 8 and all they know is that Papa is sick and some days doesn't feel too good. I believe your brothers need to be brought into the 'loop' if only for support for you and your Dad. As far as your brother in Iraq, I cannot comment as I am not familiar with military protocol. Your shouldn't be expecting too much of yourself right now. Take each day as it comes and lean on God. Give it all to God and let Him help you. Take care and God Bless your Dad, you and your family.