I can't imagine that I am the only one that has lost their marriage due to cancer. I am on this site looking for support and advice.
I am 35 years old, actually turned 36 yesterday, not the happiest birthday I've ever had. :) I was diagnosed Sept. 11, 2006 (ironic, huh) with Stage 3C breast cancer. There is no family history so this caught me completely by surprise. My fiance and I married 6 days after my first chemo treatment. Then 2 weeks ago I found out that he cheated and he has since left me and says that we can't work it out. This all wouldn't be so awful but what little bit of family I do have is 2500 miles away and going back to them is not an option. They haven't offered and want me to finish out treatment here. I still have 5 chemo treatments and 33 radiation treatments before discussing more surgery. Lymph nodes are involved and there is still cancer in my breast. I am leaning toward no more surgery. I'm beginning to question what I'm fighting for.
I'm feeling very small and so very alone. I now have only me to depend on financially which scares the hell out of me. The treatments put me down and I've missed a ton of work, which is no longer an option.
I wonder is it that he couldn't deal with the cancer? Facing mortality? Is it because I'm bald? Is it the scars from the surgeries? Is it that I got angry and depressed?
I was a caregiver for my father a couple of years ago when he passed away from cancer of the voice box. I never considered leaving him to walk that road alone. How could you do that to someone you love? Is it that my "husband" never loved me?
Anyone with any insight or who has had a similar experience, your input would be GREATLY appreciated. I am struggling to understand, to forgive and to move on. For whatever reason, I still hold onto the hope that he will come home, but in my heart I know that will never happen.