Wow, I have no idea where to begin. Lets see...My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in April of 2005. I was a senior in college getting ready to graduate that May. I was devastated. Absolutely devastated. I went home as often as possible and her main goal was to make it to my graduation. She did, bald head and all. I moved home after graduation and helped take care of her. She went into remission, but that only lasted a few months. (we were so excited...we thought we beat this nasty disease) However, in October of 2006 she landed in the emergency room with a bad headache. A few tests later we found out that the cancer had spread to her brain and one tumor was on a blood vessel which caused a severe bleed in her head. Needless to say she went in for emergency brain surgery. She was never the same after that. Three months later, on December 31, 2006, she passed away in her sleep.
Those were the longest three months of my life. It was the hardest thing watching her deteriorate. She was never the same after the surgery. She forgot who people were and she had a very hard time talking and doing the basic everyday things. I would shower with her, feed her, carry her to the bathroom, etc. She refused to talk about what she was going through. I don't know if she really accepted things. I was not even able to really say goodbye.
I am an only child and she was my everything. I lost my mom and my best friend. We were so close. I mean we talked 4 times a day and hung out all the time.
I am only 23 and motherless. I am lost. I can't function. I have no idea how to move on. All I want is to be able to talk to her again. I don't sleep because of the horrific images I have of her death and reliving the funeral.
I am just hoping that this is all dream that I will wake from.....