hi everyone, i was sitting here alone in this awful snowstorm, just thinking. i figured that maybe i should share my thoughts and ask some questions. my mother is 63 years and was diagnosed with extrahepatic bile duct cancer in december 2006. of course it is an all too familiar story. mom went to the hospital in october 2006 because of severe right upper quadrant pain, radiating to the back and right shoulder and jaundice- no weight loss. at the hospital they did an ultrasound - saw stone in bile duct and stones in gallbladder, she had a non-conclusive ct due to no contrast ordered. a failed ercp, supposedly due to severe duodenitis, although there is no record of this failed ercp. an eus confirmed stone in bile duct and stones in gallbladder. mom was released and put on diet of lettuce, lemon juice and olive oil. of course mom lost weight-around eight pounds in a month. ca19-9 was ordered during this time - result was 24. by november mom could not take pain anymore. jaundice cleared up , liver labs back to normal. ercp was performed-completed this time-irregular narrowing of common bile duct throughout much of its course. mrcp was performed - showed stricture which appeared somewhat irregular but no mass found. open surgery was performed in december and the whole world came crashing down. extrahepatic bile duct cancer - retroperitonium spread, small tumor wrapped around portal vein, tumor on head of pancreas, small spots on stomach, gallbladder adhered to liver, spot on duodenum and 1 lymph node affected. doctor performed agressive surgery, partial liver resection, reroute of duodenum and partial removal and reroute of bile duct. no negative margins. i registered mom at sloan kettering, she had 8 months of gemzar and cisplatin or oxilplatin-this is a horrible chemo. mri and mrcps showed nothing throughout course, mom also maintained most of her weight, losing only eight pounds over course of treatment- liver labs elevated towards end of treatment. she got three months off and took another mri-showed nothing like the previous 3 or 4. my mothers doctor told her even though mri was negative she wanted her to go back on treatment. my mother can be very stubborn and told doctor that since no one saw anything why should she go back on treatment she was doing great and looked great, she finally felt normal again. doctor told mom she wanted to order a different test and sent mom for ct. ct found very small spot on duodenum - biopsy said cancer. so, mom reluctantly went back on chemo, this time xeloda pills. follow up visits were less and less. last week of treatment mom became jaundice, bilirubin and liver labs elevated extremely high. doctor took mom off treatments. this was about a month ago and she is still jaundice. has anyone had a similar experience with xeloda??? i am so sick and tired of this cancer!!!!!!! i really feel mad, i'm worn out, my heart is broken to pieces over my mother. i feel that this has gone on so long, that i can't even cry anymore-i just feel pissed! would anyone like to share your feelings? just let it go, i'll be here to listen and i thank you for listening to me.